I was driving back from Gillette yesterday evening (New Year's Eve), thankful that the doctor's appointment I had seems to have proven that once again, I worry too much about things. That's what I get for feeding my hypochondiacal nature by surfing the web and finding out all of the things that could be wrong with me. :-/ I inherited it from my brother. ;)
It was beautiful, with the full (blue) moon lighting up the countryside. Makes me wish I didnt' have a newer car so I could drive without headlights for a bit. OK, I would wait until I was on our dirt road! :) Too much mine traffic on Highway 59 that night.
Anyway, I was driving home and listening to an album I haven't pulled out in a while...Steven Curtis Chapman's CD "Signs of Life." After listening to it once through, I let the CD repeat, and God really started to speak to me about several things (one per song for the first several songs...it was weird to wait for thenext song and say, "Ok, God, what next?"). I wanted to share a few of them...if you have this CD, you may want to listen to the songs. Just reading the lyrics isn't as good. :-P Too bad I can't add clips to this blog.
"The world beneath us spins in circles
And this life makes us twist and turn and sway
But we were made for more than rhythm with no reason
By the One who moves with passion and with grace
As He dances over all that He has made...
I am the heart, He is the heartbeat
I am the eyes, He is the sight
And I see clearly I am just a body
He is the life
I move my feet, I go through the motions
But He gives purpose to chance
I am the dancer
He is the Lord of the dance" -Lord of the Dance
So here we are, just little people moving around on this ball called earth. We are so insignificant when you look at the universe. Yet there is a God who not only created this frail body, but also gave it life and purpose and meaning. And He dances over His creation....can you imagine? I was also struck by the body imagery. We are a physical entity (heart, eyes, feet, etc.), but it takes life to make us useful. A lifeless body can do nothing. However, there is endless potential when life is infused in it!
"For as we all draw near to the Father we are lost in this one desire
To be wholly consumed by His fire, so let us...
Throw back our heads and run with the passion
Through the fields of forgiveness and grace
We carry the eternal flame
With an undying hope and a blazing conviction
Of a truth that will never fade
We are glowing in the dark
Children of the burning heart." -Children of the Burning Heart
I felt left out when I thought about how small the flame is in me to draw near to God. I had this vision of running through a field with such joy it almost broke my heart. With hands up in the air and leaping over the grass...like a child enjoying being alive and experiencing the warmth of the sun. How does the mundaneness of life squeeze out this simple joy and love for life (and the One who gives it)?
"But I've got questions rolling around in the corners of my mind
If it's true I live in a world where hope has all but died
And if I really have a living love alive in me
How am I letting it be known, how am I letting it be seen?" -Signs of Life
This one kind of goes with the previous song. It was a continuation of the thoughts of whether I am letting God show through me, or if I am just living life as a robot...just completing my tasks. Are there signs of Life in my life? Hmmm...
"You can run with the big dogs
You can fly with the eagles
You can jump through all the hoops
And climb the ladder to the top
But when it all comes down
You know it all comes down to the walk...
'Do justly, love mercy, walk humbly with your God' " -The Walk
This song made me realize how hectic and crazy my life can get. Now living on a ranch and being a stay-at-home mom, I don't have any career ladders to climb. But what about the hoops? The ones that say I need to be a certain type of mom, wife, or ranch help?
The verse that is quoted is from Micah 6:8. If I apply that to every area of life, especially the circumstances that are trying right now (dealing with a 3 1/2 year old with an attitude, the day-to-day work that seems to be the same, health issues, etc.), life isn't as hard as I make it out to be.
Walking should be easier than flying, right? :) I better get out my hiking stick though, just in case I stumble...
"Let us approach the throne of grace with confidence
As our prayers draw us near
To the One who knows our needs
before we even call His name" -Let Us Pray
This song talks about praying at all times..."like breathing out and breathing in." How many of us could use some improvement in this area? Well, I'll just say that I know I do!
The next song may not mean as much if you haven't been in a prison before. It's about Steven Curtis Chapman visiting a man in prison. There is something repressive about walking into a prison (even the visiting room, which I've been to to visit a friend).
"But then I met a man whose face seemed strangely out of place
A blinding light of hope was shining in his eyes
And with repentance in his voice he told me of his tragic choice
That led him to this place where he must pay the price
But then his voice grew strong as he began to tell
About the One he said had rescued him from hell, he said...
I'm free, yeah, oh, I have been forgiven
God's love has taken off my chains and given me these wings
And I'm free, yeah, and the freedom I've been given
Is something that not even death can take away from me
Because I'm free
Jesus set me free" -Free
Do we think of our sin as chains that keep us in a prison? I love the hymn "And Can it Be?" which talks about the same idea..."Long my imprisoned spirit lay, Fast bound in sin and nature's night; Thine eye diffused a quickening ray, I woke the dungeon flamed with light; My chains fell off, my heart was free; I rose, went forth and followed Thee."
If only I would see those little transgressions as links in a chain that holds me back from living free...
I better stop here. Now to ponder the truths I've been shown...and make some lifetime resolutions instead of some "New Year" ones!
Happy New Year!